Today I Mowed the Lawn

My sister told me the other day that I'm not funny anymore. Ok, that's not an exact quote, but she did say that my blog is becoming less funny and more mushy. So, dear sister, this one's for you.

I sent this to a friend in a text today, so I'm pretty much going to copy and paste what I wrote to her.

Grass has been growing in patches in our yard for a couple months now. I drive into our neighborhood and all of the other houses look decent, then you see ours and it shouts at me, "Hey! You're the slacker of the neighborhood! MOW YOUR LAWN, lazy!" It hurts.

So today I decided to remedy that. Yes, it IS the middle of winter. However, it's 70 today, so it was officially time! I asked my husband to teach me how to start the riding mower, and he agreed. He took me outside and walked me through the steps, told me to get on and have fun.

I got on. I got nervous. I got off the riding lawn mower.

I decided he should go first... The day after he got his wisdom teeth taken out (Wife of the year award goes to.... Pretty much anyone but me. Not even a month in, and I'm already out of the running. Awesome). So he mows for a while then tells me it's my turn. Again... I got on. I got nervous. This time I stayed on, though. I put the mower on the slowest setting and it jerks forward. I swear I spent the first 30 seconds of my ride screaming. He spent the next 10 seconds screaming and running after me because the blower part was facing the cars. *No cars were damaged in the process, for the record.

But I did it!

We are no longer the white trash neighbors anymore! Our lawn is presentable.

I got off the mower and proudly strutted inside the house to show my husband all will be well when he abandons me leaves this summer.

His response: Maybe one day you will be able to mow in a straight line.

Thanks, husband.

Seriously. That just happened.